I _______________________ do hereby agree to be friends with __________________________.
In signing this document, each friend agrees:
- I hold some amount of respect for my friend. I support (him/her) in most things, and if (he/she/they) asks, I will be there for (him/her/them/it) in whatever ways I can, as (his/her/their/its/eir) friend–as long as it is convenient for me.
- I will not harbor unexpressed grievances against my friend. I will voice them, probably publicly, if and whenever possible.
- I will briefly nod at my friend whenever I pass (him/her/them/it/em) on the street, but only when I deem that (she/they/it/ey/en) looks pretty.
- I will aspire to avoid any unexpected advances on my friend, nor will I encourage any advances made upon me by said friend.*
- I will solely utilize metaphors, analogies, and idioms when communicating my emotions to my friend so that we may avoid expressing awkward emotions or accidentally revealing that we still have feelings for one another.
- I will give my friend at most a hug, if or when (he/she/they/it/ey/en/ze) asks and receives consent for said hug.*
*This rule does not apply when either party is intoxicated.
x ____________________________________________
Ex-Turned-Friend One
x ____________________________________________
Ex-Turned-Friend Two
