To the Bwog Editorial Board,
Please accept this correspondence as a formal notice to immediately cease and desist all requests for a sequel to “‘Pressed’ Up: A Fed x Spec Fanfiction.” Your incessant requests—which ask for the inclusion of your publication in a “throuple” or “love triangle” with The Columbia Federalist (“Fed”) and the Columbia Daily Spectator (“Spec”)—will not be entertained.
Not only are your requests an irrelevant intrusion into 40 years of enemies-to-lovers tension between Fed and Spec, but also—as put by the author of “‘Pressed’ Up”—”drag the joke” to a point where it would be “unfunny.” As a campus publication that cares deeply about its external image, The Fed will not proceed with such a risky embarrassment.
Furthermore, the author of “‘Pressed’ Up” wants to express their personal offense at Bwog for not reaching out to them directly to discuss a sequel, and the disrespect this failure to reach out communicates.
If this behavior continues, The Columbia Federalist, on this writer’s behalf, will seek a temporary restraining order, and involve a group of Columbia Law Students to take legal action (they owe us a favor for ruthlessly crushing us in intramural volleyball).
Additionally, should Bwog decide to write their own sequel of “‘Pressed’ Up” without the permission of the author, it would violate copyright, intellectual property, and the values of any respectable publication.
Fedbwogtator is not happening. #FedtatorOTP
With no due respect,
@fedtator4ever2005, The Columbia Federalist Legal Team, and all decent fanfiction writers
