As Columbia students flocked to the Homecoming game at Baker Athletic Conference, many were shocked to learn that the 1 train does indeed provide service uptown of the 116th Street — Columbia University station. “I always thought the world above Morningside Heights was a myth,” said Neh Pobaby, decked out in Pantone 290 and three White Claws deep. “Like, all the Pilates classes and overpriced brunch places are downtown. Why would I even think to come up here?”
When our Fed reporter asked Pobaby if she knew what the five boroughs of New York City were, she nervously massaged the navy blue Roar-ee tattoo on her cheek. “Um, there’s Manhattan and like, Brooklyn, obviously. During NSOP I went to this club in Bushwick… I had never seen so much graffiti in my life,” she shuddered. “Never again. Beyond that, there’s like… the Stonks? And Spleens or something.”
It is unclear to the student body whether the 1 train always goes in “that direction” or if the MTA decided to perform a little Homecoming miracle.
