Last Thursday, several students reported seeing a suspicious Trina-Sarah Tobbs (SEAS ‘27) devouring a curiously monstrous burger at a high table in the back of JJ’s. Luckily, one of our field correspondents was on the scene; after stuffing Blue Bunny Cookies ‘N Creme ice cream sandwiches into their backpack, they went over to investigate.
When asked about her creation, Trina-Sarah said “I grabbed my burger and was about to load up a separate tray with dino nuggets, when I thought to myself ‘what the fuck am I doing? Has Columbia seriously conditioned me to think I need separate receptacles for each of my savoury fast food treats?’ I grabbed those nuggies and slapped them right on top of my burger. Fries too.”
Our reporter asked Tobbs what prompted the averse reaction to the JJ’s status quo, to which she stated that she was “done with these bullshit mind games.” The Federalist stands by its fellow students that seek to push boundaries, whether it’s through revolutionary research, acute and thoughtful protest, or getting that fish burger JJ’s sometimes has.
