That’s it. I’m finally breaking my silence.
Call whatever you want. Potty humor? Sure. Childish? Right on. A tragic misuse of an Ivy League education? Abso-fucking-lutely.
I mean, we literally walk past it everyday. We say the name out loud. Professors say it. Tour guides. Even parents utter it with the utmost admiration, quivering at the massive sight of it! And yet right when I think we’ve woken up and FINALLY seen the punchline… nothing. And to be quite frank, it’s a phat, blatant disrespect to our own integrity as Columbia students. Somewhere between Lit Hum and CC we’ve been brainwashed to believe dignity was more important than childhood joy.
So, since you all don’t have a singular funny bone in those scrawny bodies of yours, I’ll break it down for you.
- It’s absolutely massive.
- The bathrooms are horrid.
- It’s the epicenter for shitty papers and endless suffering.
- And it’s called Buttler.
AND. NOT. ONE. JOKE? We’ve totally lost the plot.
Like, the potential jokes and double meanings are endless! Like “Butler is so packed I can’t get in,” or “Is it just me or does Butler smell weird today?” And we definitely can get creative with it with “Oh, IBS (I’ve been studying) at Butler,” or “Let’s rendezvous at But(t) tonight.” And they don’t even HAVE to be butt/poop/potty joke formulas. C’mon we literally have “Butler… I hardly know her,” staring in our faces.
Oh, and merch potential is crazy. Imagine t-shirts like “Keep our Butt Clean” or “I survived midterms at Butt.”
It’s our time to rebuild history. The future of Columbia on-campus jargon lies in our hands. So, say it with me now: FREE 🍑THE 🍑BUTT!
