As an exciting new season approaches, beloved coffee chain Joe Coffee has decided to venture into innovative new corners of the coffee business. Instead of their usual winter menu items, they have opted to add new milk varieties to the menu. Joe Coffee will now serve cashew milk, along with a cashew-almond hybrid. They will also have a peppermint infused buffalo milk, and a moose-milk nog. Also, they will be offering various goat milks, from local farms including but not limited to The Bronx Zoo, the Central Park Zoo, and the New York State Bacterial Pneumonia & Chlamydia Goat Sanctuary. But we think the biggest highlight of the new menu is the irrevocable, unmistakable “mother’s milk.” This new addition to the menu has already seen a booming success. Students have been queuing up for hours and the excitement is palpable. Chants of “MILK! MILK! MILK!” can be heard from across campus.
The Fed spoke to Joe Coffee business manager, Lactosin Tollerant, to discuss the company’s attitude towards the new visionary additions to the menu. “Yeah I guess you could call it a feeling of utter excitement,” she smirked.
