Every day, approximately 800 foreign policy nerds go in and out of the brand new, ultra-efficient SIPA elevators. With one minute of waiting saved per student, the school has amassed a collective 32,000 minutes of surplus time to ponder on the world’s most pressing issues. The result? One student researcher at the Center for Development Economics and Policy said they have now found the solution to world hunger. Another said they have found a means to instantaneously reach nine of the United Nations’ seventeen Sustainable Development Goals. The students are scheduled to present their groundbreaking solutions at the UN’s 2nd World Summit for Sustainable Development this November. They plan to bring with them SIPA’s elevator technicians, potentially to replace the UN headquarters’ malfunctioning escalators.
