In an executive order on April 9th, President Trump announced the end of the left’s war on showerheads. Lauded as a rare win for radical feminists, Trump has taken down the Obama-Biden administration’s agenda to curb shower pleasure, which attempted to stifle women’s and bottoms’ private time in the shower by implementing un-American limits to water pressure in showerheads. In a statement, Trump asserted, “I think we should all finish—unlike Biden with that election!! Amirite, folks?” I, a woman in touch with her body, am moved by this effort to let more freak flags fly. Trump, a diva himself, later tried to defend his God-given right to a fierce hairdo: “I want [the shampoo] to be lathered beautifully. And I get this best stuff you can buy, and I dump it all over. And then I turn on the water, and the damn water drips out. I can’t get the stuff out of my hair. It’s a horrible thing.”** But we know the truth, Mr. President. The coastal elite won’t want the world to know and will bring you to shame for it, but we honor your right to pass this bill so you can go back to having a blast with your ~ Oval Office ~ in the privacy of the West Wing. President Trump, thank you for being a sister. #MAGA
**: DISCLAIMER, this is a real quote
