Alright, clearly you haven’t been taking us seriously. We told you to complete the training. We told you it was New York state law. We told you that if you didn’t do it, we’d have to block access to your account. You still wouldn’t listen. You forced our hand here, kid. I’ll give it to you straight: if you don’t hold up your end of the bargain, some real tragic shit could happen to that lovely family of yours.
And let me be clear—I sure do hope it doesn’t come to that. I hope you use that big Ivy-League brain of yours and just do the damn modules. I hope you sit down for a half hour and pretend to watch the videos, and I hope you look at the little “What would you do” quiz for a half second before clicking the only option that isn’t a felony. It’s not hard, but it sure seems like you have a lotta trouble getting it done, huh? I hope you find some time…for your poor mother’s sake.
I don’t like being the bad guy, alright? I’d love to have a friendly chat with you, maybe even meet your old parents under…better circumstances. But that’s not an option any more, is it? Because you think you can just click us away? That’s disrespectful, kid. And it’s a pretty ballsy move from someone whose voting records and corresponding addresses are so publicly accessible, don’t you think? By the way, that’s a lovely house you got back home. Big white one, right? Probably a lotta memories in there. Sure would be a shame…
Are you anti-anti-sexual harassment? Is that the kinda person you are? Is that the kinda person your mother raised? Are your sisters and brothers sexual harassment supporters too? I can’t imagine that, pal. They’re all probably real good people, huh? I’d hate to see them dragged into all of this.
Do the right thing here, kid. Do your modules, and you’ll never see me on your login page again. Wouldn’t that be nice? Going straight from your Duo push to Courseworks, knowing that everyone back home is safe and sound? You could have that, buddy. You just gotta be smart here. Do the Anti-Sexual Harassment modules. For your family’s sake.
