Are these Quotes from the Columbia Administration or Tammany Hall?

Artwork by Kat Chen

“The appearance of the law must be upheld— especially when it is being broken.”
Thought this was a murmuring about Columbia graduate students being evicted and losing their funding during a global pandemic? Common mistake, no, it’s classic Boss Tweed chit-chat.

“I don’t care a straw for your newspaper articles, my constituents don’t know how to read, but they can’t help seeing them damned pictures.” 
This is a tough one. Everyone gets confused and assumes it’s a dean unfazed by a long-form Spec exposé of a Columbia scandal, but quaking at memes in Columbia Buy/Sell. But yet indeed, another Boss Tweed. Thank god we at The Federalist steal our damned pictures from the internet without correctly copyrighting them, because that’s how we take ’em down!

“The way to have power is to take it.”
Thought the “it” was Columbia housing for undergraduates? Unfortunately this was not whispered sultrily to Jean in PrezBo’s charming mansion overlooking Harlem; it is once again a Boss Tweed nattering.

“The looter goes in for himself alone without considerin’ his organization or his city. The politician looks after his own interests, the organization’s interests, and the city’s interests all at the same time.”
Thought the “looter” was a university charging full tuition for Zoom courses and snatching up all of Harlem? Think again— this is actually a quote from George Washington Plunkitt of Tammany Hall! If you look closely, you’ll see that it definitely does not refer to the Columbia administration, which acts in literally no one’s interest— not the students’, and certainly not the city’s— except for its own.