NORTH POLE – Hefty Christmas shopping is going to take a big toll on Santa’s credit score this winter. “A lot of those presents were impulse buys,” he admitted, pointing to a mountain of gifts destined for children around the world. “I don’t know how I’m going to pay for them. I might have to put a second mortgage on my igloo.”
Due to his tight financial condition, budget cuts will require Santa to outsource labor. His workshop management revealed that production will soon be transferred to China, whose workers require fewer candy canes per hour.