The long-awaited opening of the new Raising Cane’s location on 111th Street has generated tons of buzz due to their giveaway of free Cane’s for a year. However, a significant loophole in the fine print may pose a threat to the lives of the winners: anyone who kills someone with free Cane’s for a year will automatically inherit the privilege.
Our Federalist reporters spoke to two winners on the condition of anonymity; they are henceforth referred to as Chick and Wing, respectively. Chick told us that he entered his name in the raffle the morning of September 4. When he received the notification that he’d won a free year of the extremely popular chicken, he was thrilled. “I told my girlfriend right after I found out,” said Chick, “and she decided to do a little digging into the terms and conditions to see if it was legit. After she found out that someone could kill me and get the reward, I knew I’d be walking on eggshells. Kids on this campus have killed for less.”
Similarly, Wing quickly found that what was supposed to be a year of dreams would turn into a nightmare. “I was studying in Butler when someone walked past my chair and dropped a note in my lap. Before I could get a look at them, they had disappeared.” Wing sniffled, before continuing, “Sorry, this is really difficult for me. The note read, ‘There’s a bounty on your head. They are after the Cane’s. Don’t trust anyone.’ I immediately gathered my belongings and locked myself in my room. I haven’t left since and I have no idea what to do next. I canceled my meal plan because I thought all my food would be covered, but I guess I shouldn’t have counted my chickens before they hatched.”
In typical Columbia fashion, both Columbia Public Safety and Barnard CARES have no intention of assigning the winners with security details. These individuals appear to be left to their own defenses and as an unknown number of students plots to topple the pecking order.
Those interested in forfeiting their giveaway prize may reach The Federalist directly for information on transferring the chicken dinner.
