Columbia’s Only Newspaper That Wears a Bikini with a Full Bush
Volume XLII • Issue 6 • April 2025
From the Issue:
Report: 100 Percent of Incoming Class of 2029 Can’t Use Chopsticks and Would Like a Fork Please
As part of a yearly tradition, the university has released a demographic poll of the newly-committed class of…
Student-Athletes Riot in Response to Ferris Egg Shortage
Columbia Dining recently announced that, due to Trump’s newly enacted eggonomic policies, each student would be limited to…
Ferris Booth Commons Vegan Chorizo, A Love Poem from a Struggling Vegetarian
A’walkin round in Lerner, Looking for a treat. Thought: well im close to Ferris, But all they ever…
