Dear Columbia Trustees,
We are the Art’s Editors for the Columbia Federalist. Every cover, every fold-out, we draw that stuff, and we draw it good. We are aware that you have been assigned to pick the perfect president for Columbia, but we beg of you to make up your mind once and for all. We cannot keep learning how to draw a new face every month or so. We literally just got Shipman down, and you hit us with this? You must have known how hard those luxurious curls are going to be to draw! We might have to buy a new brush on Procreate for god’s sake. At the very least, keep this new one in place for at least a year. If you must replace her could we suggest perhaps a doppelgänger, or maybe a clone? I’m sure a lab on campus could help with that. Another option could be a cardboard cut-out with just a stick figure drawn on it. Or a magic 8-ball to make all campus decisions? That’s super simple to draw!
Sincerely,
The Arts Editors
