In their February newsletter, Barnard Dining announced the opening of a new seasonal kissing booth located just behind the blind-corner staircase at the entrance of Hewitt Dining Hall. A recent survey, composed primarily of male Columbia athletes, has determined the location as “the cornerstone for total awkward sexual tension and accidental meet-cutes,” citing confusing pedestrian congestion, fluorescent lighting, and the intimately unique experience of bodies pressed up against each other after a near collision.
According to the announcement, the booth will operate during peak hours, offering an opportunity for students to “crash into the kiss” or, alternatively, shuffle from left to right, parallel to the other student, for an average of six seconds until one lets the other pass. Barnard Dining ensures all participation to be optional but predicts that the collective social pressure will be a “driving force for flustered fornication.”
One volunteer described the space as a “charged, but deeply discomforting, atmosphere.” Another compared the experience to “seeing a lover from a past life briefly collide in the present time.”
Though there are no confirmed reports of any developing romances, Barnard Dining still remains optimistic. “We cannot stress enough how architecturally groundbreaking this blind corner is for budding campus courtships,” stated an official hired to increase winter morale through romance. After knocking into a student carrying a bowl of kosher chowder, the official continued, “though chemistry can’t be planned, congestion can!”
