Dear Professor [NAME],
I hope this email finds you well. I, unfortunately, am not doing so great, especially after taking your exam today. However, I think I have some pretty good explanations, which I hope you will listen to, though I know it is a very busy time of the semester, and you likely have at least [NUMBER] other matters to address. I will try to keep it brief.
Yesterday, my [ANIMAL] died while [VERB ENDING IN -ING] in what I was told was New York’s safest [PLACE]. The day before that, someone broke into my dorm room and stole my [NOUN] which was passed down to me by my grandmother and is a family heirloom from the early 19th century. And since Monday I’ve been suffering from tummy problems. I suspect that the [FOOD] I got from [DINING HALL] gave me food poisoning… I guess those little [ADJECTIVE] bits were, in fact, [ANIMAL] droppings. Whoops!
Anyway, all of this is to say that my performance on your final was likely very [ADJECTIVE]. I think you could cut me some slack, especially since I’m better than all those other [PLURAL NOUNS] in the class. We both know that [NAME] was a real bitch… they would always [VERB] during your lectures. I’d really appreciate it if you could show some holiday generosity and bump my grade up to a [LETTER]. Maybe then I’ll make my _____________ proud!
[PHRASE THAT MEANS ‘GOODBYE’],
Your favorite student
