Do people shudder at the sight of you? Do little kids run from you out of fear that you’re the Boogeyman their parents keep warning them about? Are you stressed about what to wear for Halloween because your chopped ass will bring the Sigaween vibe down?
If your answer was yes to all, do not panic! That’s what The Fed is for! We have curated a perfect, cunty list of amazing costumes to ensure that uglies can also have a great time at Halloween parties! Remember to use these hashtags and tag The Fed in your pictures if you decide to go with any of these costumes!
- GHOSTFACE:
Might be one of the easiest costumes to pull off if you’re the mayor of Uggo Ville. For some reason, everyone is so incredibly attracted to the character that they will even ask you to keep the mask on during sex! Slay! Also, since black is super slimming, your body will look so tea in that cloak! #Killer?IHardlyKnowHer!
- ZOMBIE:
Again, super easy! Just apply a shit ton of makeup and scars to your face! Even if you half-ass it, people will still assume your face is that fucked up on purpose! They’ll just assume you’re a super fun and sexy person who really commits to their costume! Where you see a musty face, they see a method actor! You’ll definitely get brain in this costume! #BiteMeBaby!
- GHOST:
Ever wished you could just drape a sheet over your face and hide from the world? Now’s your chance! This costume is the definition of mysterious and nonchalant! Try out new characters, new voices, and new personalities with no consequences! Also, while people are breaking the bank on Amazon corsets, you can just use one of your sheets! Don’t want to deal with washing them at the end of the night? Use your roommate’s! Now, you have the moral high ground since you saved money and didn’t support Jeff Bezos! #MourningWood!
- ROAR-EE THE LION OR MILLIE THE BEAR.
Nothing is sexier than school pride! Everyone who’s ever been lucky enough to meet Roar-ee will agree that there’s something so undeniably alluring about him. Plus, this is the only furry costume that—realistically—is socially acceptable to wear, even on Halloween. With this costume, everyone will see your inner wild side without having to see your outer animal face! #PounceOnMe!
Remember: Beauty fades, but ugly is forever! Happy Halloween!
