So, you get to Barnard from your private high school class of 50 students who all knew each other. You go up to a group of students in NSOP, all fresh and excited, and ask them their names. They all reply with a resounding “Sophia!” Your heart sinks, because that’s your name too, and yet now you are but another face lost in the crowd. Sound familiar? Yeah, turns out there’s all too many of us, whether with a ph, f, or an e instead of an a. It can be tough to feel like you’re unique when you have one of the most common names of your generation. Well, as a lifelong Sophia and expert in standing out, here are my top tips to become more than just another name in class!
- Change your name! Who needs another Sofia anyway? I haven’t had a class with a Claire yet, maybe go with that. The legal process only takes a few years.
- Do something ridiculous! Be the next water bottle kicker, sacrifice a football player on Futter Field, audition for the lead role in a musical. The options for notoriety are endless, so long as you’re willing to forgo your identity as a Sophia in exchange for “that kid” (said with slight disgust, of course).
- Dye your hair! Oh wait, that’s not going to help you stand out here, sorry. You should cancel that appointment.
- Post fake stories on Columbia confessions about how awesome and hot you are! Everyone totally remembers all the names in those callouts. Just don’t forget to repost everything written about you to really drive it home.
- If all else fails, but you still want to be known for something besides your all too common first name, you could always join a satire paper where your full name is next to every article you write! Or you can lock in and become the next Batman or something.
