Hello,
We would like to inform all residents of Wien Hall that we will no longer be offering beds in any of the single or double rooms in this dormitory. This policy is in place effective immediately; until Residential Life staff are able to come to your room and extract your bed, please move as much of it as you can into the walk-in closet. Students found using their beds following this date will be subject to disciplinary action.
To fill the new space, however, Residential Life will be adding a second patented “Wien Sink” to all rooms in the dormitory! The second sink will be placed relatively close to the first to allow for double hand-washing action, with a pipe connecting the water flow (enabling students to double hydraulic pressure to either one when the other is turned off)!
Unfortunately, the sinks will still randomly start spewing exclusively hot water whenever they feel like it. As a result, we caution students not to use the double hydraulic pressure mode during one of these periods, for risk of burning through the patented “Wien Basin” (and students up to two floors below you).
That being said, it’s time for the Residential Life recipe of the month! This time we’ve got a special one for all you Wien-heads out there.
Ingredients:
- Two Wien Sinks
- A box from the Student Mail Center
- That weird brown sauce the Fac Shack keeps giving you
- Premade pizza
Cooking Instructions:
- Cut out a slab of cardboard from the delivery box. Place the pizza on it.
- Wash your hands in a Wien Sink (preferably both at the same time).
- Serve with or without mystery sauce. Enjoy!
