We all have our insecurities. Believe it or not, even the President of the United States does. Reportedly, Temu delivery driver Kyle Scott, delivered a large shipment of jade green gua sha and pink marble face rollers to the White House last Tuesday. Trump asked that they be delivered directly to his ensuite bathroom, as to not reveal his insecurity to any staff members of the White House. Scott, who has been employed at Temu for a dedicated four months, entered the White House through a secret trapdoor on the East Wing. He meekly approached the golden hallway to the bathroom, which reportedly was adorned with multiple oil paintings of Trump wearing the skin of a different animal in each one. Scott placed the box on the leather bidet toilet cover. While attempting to tiptoe away, a velvet-robed Trump emerged from behind the satin shower curtain and approached Scott. Trump grabbed Scott’s wrist and allegedly begged Scott to teach him to use a gua sha. Trump confessed to Scott that he had been suffering from insecurity surrounding the strength of his jawline after seeing a presumably AI-generated image of JD Vance with a rock hard chin and commanding silhouette. Trump told Scott that it was his patriotic duty to mentor him in the intimate art of the gua sha. After Scott feebly explained that he was just the delivery driver and not a beauty influencer or a traditional East Asian medicine practitioner, Trump called security to remove him immediately. El Salvador will be Scott’s new place of residence for the foreseeable future.
Trump Insecure About Jawline, Purchases Gua Sha
