I was running late to class, and I needed to get to Hamilton as quickly as possible. I went through the 114th entrance to campus, and put my hand through the tarp to tap my CUID. Even though everything usually goes well, I was prepared for the usual issues. Sometimes the scanner goes red and beeps, and then I have to wait even longer. Believe me, I could have handled it. I’ve gone through a series of traumatic experiences at Columbia: Spending two weeks on a waitlist for a major requirement, showing up at the John Jay dining hall 15 minutes before it closes, and waiting twenty minutes for a friend to come down and scan me into their dorm. All of those pale in comparison to what I experienced.
Honestly, I never could have seen this coming. Behind the tarp, I saw something move, and someone LICKED MY HAND. I pulled it out in disgust and threw open the tent flaps, but there was NO ONE there. I wanted to see if someone – or something – was hiding under the table, but I didn’t want to hold up the line any longer. I was so shocked, I barely made it to class on time. Could this week get any worse?
