After over a year of protests, some of which targeted the famous Alma Mater statue which stands at the base of Low Library, the Columbia University administration has proposed ambitious plans to keep the famous statue from disruption. According to a recent statement by Columbia University, administration plans are in place to deploy a custom-built plexiglass box over the Alma Mater statue by 2026.
The box will be bulletproof, stain-proof, and impenetrable, bolted to the Low Library steps with “some mighty strong nails,” wrote President Armstrong in a recent email. Armstrong also remarked that “…although this might seem like an aesthetically negative choice, we will do whatever it takes to prevent disruption to our campus, academics, and student life—all of which will certainly be defended as long as this statue does not have paint on it.” The Spectador spoke to a few Columbia students about this new plan, and it seems as though the student body is not taking to this decision kindly.
A Columbia College junior commented, “Dude, like, what is that gonna do? Genuinely, I am just confused how that’s helping anyone,” while a CC sophomore added, “Funny how they protect their statues but not their students, huh?”
A small number of students did show support, with one commenting, “I am just grateful that Columbia is finally spending our tuition dollars on something that matters; I am sure they are definitely not needed elsewhere. I will feel so much safer knowing that the Alma Mater statue will stay clear and protected.” However, this seems to be a very unpopular opinion.
Some seniors also spoke up: “What the fuck am I going to do about my senior photos?” asked every single senior we interviewed. We will have more information as the plan unfolds.
