Columbia School of Architecture Loses Accreditation after Inspectors Look at Campus for 30 Seconds

Following a visit to campus by inspectors from the Middle States Commission on Higher Education, the Columbia Graduate School of Architecture, Planning and Preservation was shut down in a mere thirty seconds.

The inspection, conducted over the weekend, submitted a damning report of the Morningside Heights campus. The final report denounced what the Commission called a “blatant disregard for even the most basic laws of architectural planning” and “a shocking lack of purpose in building decisions, bordering on malice.” 

One inspector, who chose to remain anonymous for fear that his name would be associated with the school by being in this article, spoke to the Federalist.

“When I walked into Lerner Hall and saw that half the building was glass ramps with no purpose other than aesthetics, I knew I was dealing with something suspicious. Later that day, I saw two buildings next to each other with three different numbers for their first floors, none of which were accurate. It’s a miracle they got away with this for so long.”

The School of Architecture rejected the Commission’s ruling and will be hosting a conference in the Northeast Wing of the Schermerhorn Extension, wherever that is.