George Santos Expelled from House of Representatives, Plans to Become Professor of Molecular Biology at Columbia

As the House of Representatives has recently voted to expel George Santos, there has been a swarm of media attention surrounding his future career plans. In a statement made on Friday morning, Santos declared that he has accepted a teaching position at Columbia University in the undergraduate molecular biology department.

“I am thrilled to be teaching a subject as rich as molecular biology with my fellow faculty,” Santos said. “I vividly remember all those years at Harvard Graduate School, devoting my every waking moment to the incredible field of molecular biology. My favorite thing about the field? Well, I really appreciate the molecular side of it all, but at the same time the biology part is equally as fascinating.”

We at the Columbia Federalist were unable to find any information online regarding Santos’ Harvard graduate degree in molecular biology. Though we called Harvard’s registrar office, they were unable to provide us with any record of Santos obtaining a PHD in molecular biology. Regardless of Harvard’s evident flaws in academic record-keeping, we look forward to welcoming Professor Santos into the Columbia community. He will be teaching his first class in the upcoming spring semester, titled UN1001 Molecular Biology: What Is It?