As a big city college girl grueling away at my work, I’m happy and independent. Alas, it’s the only time of year these movies take place so I’m heading home for the holidays. Arriving in the physical depiction of a snow globe, I’m finally home to my small, oddly-Christmas themed town: Clausville – Home of the Pinecone!
Oh no! My current city lifestyle has caused me to lose touch with my roots, and I’m suddenly struggling in this winter wind! My delicate womanly stature caused me to fall into this pile of snow; oh someone help me, please! Suddenly a man is helping me up…wait, is that my middle school boyfriend, Chris?! I hardly noticed him, it’s been years! However, I’m still infuriated that he left me for Susy Whatsherlastname at the 7th-grade dance. “City girl can’t bear the snow, huh” he mocks, and I assure him that I am brave and independent. This is such a coincidence that surely will not have a predictable outcome at the end of this article!
Standing around my family’s elaborately decorated house (that is far from functional with all this decor), we bask in the love of family and Christmas. We are sipping cartoonish-looking hot cocoa that only the recently deceased character that will soon be brought up made best.
“It’s just not Christmas without Grandpa. I’m so glad you’re home,” my mom says as an emotional interlude starts playing.
Anyways…back to that cheery upbeat Christmas spirit! I’m making pancakes for the entire family for breakfast,but my dog is suddenly whining about going outside for a walk. After grabbing his leash, I begin to open the door but he runs off!. Running down the street after him like a mad woman (with makeup and styled hair though) I finally reach the dead end he is waiting where a man holds his leash, Chris?! Ugh! Not this guy again! I’m so embarrassed! Chris and I exchange some dialogue regarding me pretending to have things under control and him threatening to release my dog to prove me wrong as a joke. As we both grab the leash we bump into one another and giggle with a twinkle in our eyes, “I should go…” I exclaim and run back home.
Wait, my family is watching all of this from the window?! They tease me about Chris, but I explain that he’s just a friend and remind them that he did cheat on me in 7th grade and I’m totally not still harping on it but I’m definitely still mad and judge his character for such. I apologize for burning the pancakes and my family tells me that I can make it up to them by going by the Reindeer store in town. Why are they all winking?
At the town Reindeer store I’m doing your typical shopping when I start conversing with an ominous old man wearing a red collared shirt and a white beard. He tells me about how he’s the owner of the store and gives me really ominous advice that doesn’t make much sense now but will later. Suddenly an employee comes around the corner with a pile of boxes taller than his face and calls this man “Grandpa”. As the man sets these down I realize it’s Chris again, what a small town! We go back and forth regarding this Grandpa situation and I learn that Chris farms reindeer for a living with his Grandpa, Chris Cringle Sr. Oh man my family set me up!
Chris and I get snow cones and spend the rest of the day catching up and laughing a ton. We really laugh a lot because we are just so funny despite seeming so bland on screen. It is here that Chris mentions how he wishes I would stay and how I don’t seem happy in the big city. He reminds me that I used to love decorating letters for Santa as a kid and that my Grandpa always thought I’d continue with that. Suddenly the ominous advice that Chris’s Santa adjacent Grandpa told me makes sense! Am I happy here? What does Chris’ family do again? Would Grandpa be proud of me?
Suddenly I get a call from the big city and I contemplate taking it, until I see Grandpa Cringle (who is oddly reminiscent of Santa?) shake his head in this distance. Does that reindeer he’s farming have a red nose? Anyways, I decline the call and smile at Chris showing that I’ve taken control of my life. And so, this is my official resignation from the Fed, as I have chosen to stay in Clausville and become a professional letter opener for Santa’s workshop.
Ho Ho Hallmark!