Happy registration week and congratulations on not getting into any of your courses! This morning, Columbia announced new classes to be added to the course catalog in an attempt to allow more than one percent of the student body to be registered for enough credits to be a full-time student. Good luck!
- BIOL7789: Columbia Dining
This course examines the composition of Columbia dining hall food, with the final project being a creation of the worst possible food you can fathom that does not warrant a lawsuit. You could be the next Chef Mike!
- HIST8008: Mercury in Retrograde
This course is a survey of American history, but through the lens of astrology. Students will learn how to apply the skill they already have in justifying the worst parts of themselves based on the month they were born to history. Andrew Jackson was just such a Pisces!
- HUMA1001.5: The Simpsons
This course is designed as an alternative to LitHum. Students will expand their knowledge on the beloved TV series The Simpsons and learn all about a different Homer. The principle objective of LitHum–namely, teaching students to construct well-reasoned arguments–is bolstered by studying such an eloquent, complicated piece of historical literature.
- PHIL6969: Existentialism
This course explores the concept of existentialism, and specifically the ways in which Columbia students, faculty members, and the administration as a whole can use it to justify their questionable life choices.
- POLS1420: Intro to Marxism
This course takes such a deep dive into the theory of Marxism that you will definitely be a Marxist by the end of the semester. Or you’ll just transfer to Barnard.