Dear Federalist,
When I first arrived at Columbia in August for NSOP, I was nervous about making friends. Not because I’m shy or weird or a loser or anything. I’m very cool and very normal. I’ll have you know that I got very close to making out with a girl at a Model UN party in high school last year. So, if anything, you’re the weird loser.
Anyway, I ended up making a good group of friends that I’ve been hanging out with a lot, which is cool. Now for my problem: they’ve been pressuring me for a while to join a group Discord server they made, and I’m running out of excuses (you can only say “I have to take a shit” and walk out of a room whenever Discord is mentioned so many times before people start to get suspicious).
On one hand, I really like my friends, and I know joining their Discord would mean a lot to them. But, on the other hand, I don’t want to reduce my chances of being invited to these “Carman parties” I’ve heard so much about (not that I’m worried about not being invited. I was really cool in high school. My mom said so every night. The invites will come).
So what do I do?
– Not A Nerd
Dear Not A Nerd,
We don’t have an advice column. Call Nightline or something idk. Don’t write to us again.
Love,
The Fed <3
