I Lived It: Invading the Children’s Science Center

They call it “Imagination Station.” I call it a warzone.

It was the last week of winter break and I had not yet enough of trying to prove I had not become the hoity-toity Columbia student they all thought I was (see: I am tho). So, my childhood friend and I set our sights on the most reasonable target: the children’s science center.

Our attack was simple: walk in the front door, buy tickets, have a really good time, and laugh because we big kids in the kid place lol.

Upon entry, we found that the resistance was much weaker than anticipated; everyone was really friendly and they even gave me a discount. Suspicious but still conniving, we continued.

My friend, who we will call Agent Off-Orange, and I roved around the facility looking for an ideal place to strike. At first, we attempted to beat all of the records set at several of the stations, but it seemed as though a far superior entity had bypassed normal human capacities already. We continued, keeping an eye out for such a monster.

Finally, after nearly an hour of… we’ll call it target practice, we found our perfect shot: the waterworks area. Agent Off-Orange and I began by connecting water outputs until we formed a massive, highly efficient neo-aqueduct that transported water from the tubes section to the boats section. Very helpful to the boats that had chronically stale water.

Soaked down to our socks after saving the little plastic boats and their little plastic people, we made our way out. We stopped by the gift shop, making fun of all the capitalist grabs at children (Agent Off-Orange bought a gift for his girlfriend).

As we left, we could hear the gasps and cries in our heads of the staff and children finding our creation, floored by such engineering brilliance from an inconceivably more advanced enemy than themselves. 

And that is how I invaded the children’s science center.