What to Do When You’re Asked to Lunch on February 14th

Graphic by Zoe Davidson

Okay, breathe. Be cool. That one cute Barnard girl from Intro Java suggested that “we should grab lunch sometime” and now she actually means it. You’ve been waiting for this. But… oh wait… it’s February 14th. What do you do? Lucky for you, we are experts in the first-“date”-in-John-Jay world. Here is some Fed insight to help you determine if this is a lunch that’s on February 14th, or a lunch on February 14th.

The first thing to note is that it is lunch, not dinner. That’s very considerate of her, because she must know that you take so many classes that you often work through lunch. It means that she’s looking out for you and must care about you deeply.

Next, which dining hall did she pick? You two are eating on campus because she just has so many meal swipes, and the dining halls are more romantic, anyways. If she picks a Columbia dining hall, it means she’s willing to cross Broadway and endure lines out the front door. If she picks a Barnard dining hall, she’s basically showing you off to all her friends and exes. Either way, it seems that she’s pretty into you.

Be mindful of what she talks about. Is she telling you about her classes? Complaining about professors? You’ve hit gold if she starts talking about her current relationship. That means she really wants you and is trying to see if you pick up on the hint. You need to listen closely, because she’s saying syllables that could sound like the syllables of your name. 

Bonus: if she only smiles and nods when you talk about yourself, school, or work, it means she is so amazed by you that she is speechless.

Now, this is an important detail: if you go to Ferris, does she get dessert? That means she wants to spend more time with you. Your conversation is so colorful that it pairs perfectly with the blue and pink cheesecake. 

Finally, is she walking to a library? If she’s not heading to one, be sure to remind her of the homework you guys have in Java. You’re looking out for her, and she will thank you for that. She’ll be so thankful that she might even want to continue her night with you in the library, listening to you explain to her all your vast knowledge of computer science. You will certainly impress her.