Top 5 Campus Power Couples

Graphic by Molly Durawa

As Valentine’s Day approaches, the Fed has been scouting out the hottest relationship rumors on campus. Here’s the juiciest gossip about the cutest celeb couples between 114th and 120th:

  1. Chef Mike and Chef Don: Everyone loves that rivals-to-lovers trope! Though the two chefs might bicker about subs vs. pizza, they can agree on one thing: Hewitt is just better.
  2. Jean Bollinger and Minouche Shafik: Jean has a thing for Columbia presidents.
  3. Millie the Dancing Bear and Keggy the Keg: Since her public breakup with Roar-ee, Milly has quickly rebounded with party-boy Keggy, who, when asked to comment, only answered, “twelfth is better than eighteenth, baby.”
  4. Low Library and Butler Library: It’s been two hundred years of pining, and Alma Mater is really getting sick of being caught in the middle of it.
  5. The Fed and The Entire Student Body: You know you love us <3