As Valentine’s Day approaches, the Fed has been scouting out the hottest relationship rumors on campus. Here’s the juiciest gossip about the cutest celeb couples between 114th and 120th:
- Chef Mike and Chef Don: Everyone loves that rivals-to-lovers trope! Though the two chefs might bicker about subs vs. pizza, they can agree on one thing: Hewitt is just better.
- Jean Bollinger and Minouche Shafik: Jean has a thing for Columbia presidents.
- Millie the Dancing Bear and Keggy the Keg: Since her public breakup with Roar-ee, Milly has quickly rebounded with party-boy Keggy, who, when asked to comment, only answered, “twelfth is better than eighteenth, baby.”
- Low Library and Butler Library: It’s been two hundred years of pining, and Alma Mater is really getting sick of being caught in the middle of it.
- The Fed and The Entire Student Body: You know you love us <3