Tips for Finishing the Semester

“One month of school has passed, how will I ever finish?” If you’ve been catching yourself thinking this lately, don’t fear! Here are eight tips and tricks to make the semester a bit more bearable:

  1. Walk around campus until you catch the eye of one of the seven people you know. They might even smile back. Talk about an immediate confidence boost! 
  1. Get a drink from Cafe East that they pump a weird syrup into. Work through the instant stomach pain and revel in the cloying sweetness. Treat yourself!
  1. Break down in tears and force another friend on the verge of a breakdown to listen. Now, you can both cry together. Teamwork makes the dream work.
  1. Look out of your window to enjoy the NYC view, only to see a couple hooking up in the dorm across from you. Convince yourself it’s performance art. No one ever said all art was good.
  1. Lose all of your sweatshirts by wearing them to frat parties you didn’t want to attend. New capsule wardrobe for spring! Marie Kondo would be proud.
  1. Enter Butler and then immediately walk out. The rush you get from leaving Butler is unlike any other. Bonus: you can do this one for 24 hours straight!
  1. Alternatively, never enter Butler. Never stepping foot in Butler will achieve the same level of happiness as immediately leaving—it’s just a matter of preference. Do what works best for you!
  1. Scream into the void. It might be cliché, but don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. Just not during primal scream, because only freshmen do that now.

If none of these tips worked for you, then you can always try fostering a deep sense of delusion about who you are and what your future holds. Good luck!