Everything seemed fine at first. We made our group chat, and my phone suggested that I update her contact picture to her pre-selected image of Twilight Sparkle. I ignored it, and we talked logistics. She was really pushing for us to live in Broadway because of how extensive their shelving units are, which would leave “plenty of room for her collection.”
Then, things started to get weird. I caught her looking at Hot Topic’s website during a lecture, and she added a My Little Pony t-shirt to her shopping cart. I watched as she inputted the code “BRONY20” for a discount. Finally, I sat in horror as she opened Tumblr, in the year 2022, to her blog entitled “broniesbeforehoe-nies.” I was too aghast to say anything, so I decided to confront her after class. As we left Fayerweather, I grabbed her by her “I <3 boobies” bracelet, yanked her aside, and said, “I know what you are.”
She played dumb at first, at least until I gave her a wedgie. Her Pinkie Pie underwear poked out above her belt. She begged that I didn’t tell anyone, to which I promised my silence. However, we’ve already submitted our housing request. I’m lost, I’m stuck, and I’m desolate.