“Which Euphoria Character Am I?” Asks Columbia Student Who Studied 3 Hours Every Friday Night In High School

Artwork by Gustie Owens

“What was your role at a high school party?’ Actually, in high school, I pregamed our Model UN social with three Mike’s Hard Lemonades and hooked up with my ex boyfriend, so I think I’m definitely Maddie on that one. 

“What was your wardrobe staple in HS?” Definitely my Columbia and/or Brown hoodie. Couldn’t let people know which one was actually my top school. I’m kinda mysterious like Rue. 

“What was your favorite method of self destruction?” Definitely being persistent and obsessive like Nate. I used to check College Confidential every 20 minutes, I was so crazy. 

 ————

What do you mean I’m “none?” Ugh . . . I guess no one on Euphoria used College Confidential.