QUIZ: Which Columbia University Disaster Are You?

After a year and a half of virtual classes and a global pandemic, the Columbia gods decided to serve up some fresh tragedies for us to enjoy—because, apparently, we haven’t experienced enough catastrophe already.

Take the quiz below to find out which recent Columbia disaster best suits you!

Where do you brush your teeth during finals?
A) Avery
B) Milstein
C) Math Library
D) Union Theological Seminary Library
E) Butler

What grade did you get on your most recent midterm?
A) I don’t want to talk about it.
B) B 
C) A
D) D
E) C

Favorite place to spot Chef Mike?
A) John Jay
B) Diana
C) Ferris
D) JJ’s 
E) Hewitt

If you were a drinking cup, which material would you be made of?
A) Red plastic
B) Ceramic (that you fired yourself)
C) Clear plastic
D) Ceramic (that you didn’t fire yourself)
E) Paper coffee cup

Which terrible fandom were you a part of in middle school? 
A) YouTube prank videos 
B) Sherlock
C) Any anime 
D) Dystopian YA novels 
E) You’re well-adjusted, I guess

Mostly As: Carman Flooding 

You’re a force of nature ready to take on campus, and you don’t care much about what you break along the way. The life of the party, you’re probably the only one you know who didn’t sell their Gov Ball tickets.

Mostly Bs: EC Pipe Bursting

You’re artsy, passionate, and always ready for the start of a new endeavor. While you can definitely be a little much sometimes, your explosive creativity makes you an overflowing presence on campus. 

Mostly Cs: Lerner Evacuation

You’re terminally online. Touch grass. 

Mostly Ds: Riverbank Trash Fire 

You’re a little bit of a mess, but always come in clutch with great underrated tastes. While you might be overshadowed sometimes by your peers, you’re perfectly happy to be the eccentric one. 

Mostly Es: Butler Library Evacuation 

You might be a little bit basic, vanilla, and lacking in style, but you’re always there when you’re most needed—just like Butler Library. While you might not be the flashiest or most impactful on this list, you can still be disruptive when you need to be.