After a year and a half of virtual classes and a global pandemic, the Columbia gods decided to serve up some fresh tragedies for us to enjoy—because, apparently, we haven’t experienced enough catastrophe already.
Take the quiz below to find out which recent Columbia disaster best suits you!
Where do you brush your teeth during finals?
C) Math Library
D) Union Theological Seminary Library
What grade did you get on your most recent midterm?
A) I don’t want to talk about it.
Favorite place to spot Chef Mike?
A) John Jay
If you were a drinking cup, which material would you be made of?
A) Red plastic
B) Ceramic (that you fired yourself)
C) Clear plastic
D) Ceramic (that you didn’t fire yourself)
E) Paper coffee cup
Which terrible fandom were you a part of in middle school?
A) YouTube prank videos
C) Any anime
D) Dystopian YA novels
E) You’re well-adjusted, I guess
Mostly As: Carman Flooding
You’re a force of nature ready to take on campus, and you don’t care much about what you break along the way. The life of the party, you’re probably the only one you know who didn’t sell their Gov Ball tickets.
Mostly Bs: EC Pipe Bursting
You’re artsy, passionate, and always ready for the start of a new endeavor. While you can definitely be a little much sometimes, your explosive creativity makes you an overflowing presence on campus.
Mostly Cs: Lerner Evacuation
You’re terminally online. Touch grass.
Mostly Ds: Riverbank Trash Fire
You’re a little bit of a mess, but always come in clutch with great underrated tastes. While you might be overshadowed sometimes by your peers, you’re perfectly happy to be the eccentric one.
Mostly Es: Butler Library Evacuation
You might be a little bit basic, vanilla, and lacking in style, but you’re always there when you’re most needed—just like Butler Library. While you might not be the flashiest or most impactful on this list, you can still be disruptive when you need to be.