“You Gotta Collect Them All,” Says SEAS Junior of Columbia Dining T-Shirts

Earlier this week, The Fed’s dining correspondent, Johnson J. Johnson, CC’61, had the pleasure of interviewing JJ’s regular and Chef Mike superfan Scott Almond. “Yuh,” says Almond, who claims that he is a hypebeast of the highest order—a Columbia Dining hypebeast, to be precise. “As the Hottest Dawg to come off Wilma’s Grill, it’s my job to, as Ye says, ‘turn our clout game up a notch.’” 

The turning up of this notch is no small feat to be sure, and Almond is dedicated to this “blessed” cause. This entails a laborious process of building up swag. Almond says that he is on a mission to collect every single piece of Columbia Dining merch that has ever been created, from Chef Mike Bobble Heads to John Jay Thanksgiving t-shirts. Currently, Almond owns 27 Columbia Dining t-shirts, with the earliest being from the 1960s. Wearing his beloved “JJ’s Fam” exclusive apparel, Almond stated, “As the king of the JJ’s Naysh, I always gotta turn up, even in a pandemic, with fresh fits.” The most “fab” of these “fits:” Surf n’ Turn Sunglasses, a “Let’s Ketchup at JJ’s” t-shirt, leather gloves, and the legs of the Roar-ee the Lion costume.  

When asked what his favorite campus dining hall was, Almond stated, “What kinda question is that? Take a look at my shirt. I’ve alway maintained that JJ’s is the hottest joint in all of the N-Y-C. When all of the homies go to restaurant week at some downright trash place downtown, I’m more than confident that I’m getting the best food in the whole city when I sink my teeth into those bomb-ass hard-boiled eggs and hummus they serve at the salad bar.” When Almond is not at JJ’s place, he can be found in Ferris Booth Commons enjoying their “bomb-ass” hard-boiled eggs.