The Fed’s Guide to Columbia Dorms

  1. Do you love studying in your room because you need absolute silence to focus? McBain Hall boasts the best soundproofing on campus and is entirely made up of singles, meaning it’s the ideal study dorm!
  2. Looking for the shortest possible commute? Carlton Arms, a little-known dorm sitting neatly between Hartley and Wallach, is beloved by Columbia students for its convenient location! Do note that looking up “Carlton Arms” on Google Maps will take you to another apartment building of the same name half a mile away from campus.
  3. Are you a rising sophomore with a super crappy lottery number? A six person-suite in East Campus is always a safe bet late in the process! Most students are able to get singles.
  4. Are you an incoming freshman terrified of social interaction? Be sure to rank Carman Hall as your first choice! It’s lately been dubbed “more Furnald than Furnald.”
  5. Live to party 24/7? Wallach Hall is infamous for its non-stop raves! Large lounges that bisect the building allows for massive bangers you won’t want to miss out on.
  6. Love following COVID guidelines and hate illegal parties? See if you can find a spare room on Greek Row! Aptly named as being home to all of the college’s classics majors, you will be living amongst some of the most tame, least interesting people at the university.
  7. Want a double so that you can get the full ~college experience~ next year? Opt for River Hall! We also hear great things about their rooftop hot tub (open year-round).
  8. Looking to burn around $10,000 to live in a cockroach-infested room that somehow also smells like puke year-round? Just about any Columbia dorm is a safe bet!
  9. Want to drink non-stop in your dorm room or throw massive parties all night long? Definitely check out the Barnard Quad, where RAs are known for their leniency towards drinking.