Report: Yep, That’s a Cockroach

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WIEN–Jeez, yeah, your eyes didn’t deceive you.. That was definitely a cockroach. Yikes.

Sure, the lights were off, and it was hard to clearly see exactly what creature was sauntering across your floor as you came back from a late-night bathroom trip, but don’t kid yourself. You know, deep down, that the nastiest looking bug to ever shame Mother Nature is now somewhere in your room.

Fuck, there’s probably more. Maybe a whole colony. I wouldn’t be surprised if you see a whole litter of roaches being tenderly nursed by their roach mother. They’re in your closet, under your pillow, probably climbing into your mouth as you sleep. You might as well make peace with it now, maybe befriend them, get to know them. I bet they’re really nice, even if they look like something out of Lovecraft’s own nightmares. But hey, don’t judge a cockroach by its shell. They can’t be worse than your roommate, right? At least they don’t snore…

Just think of it like a pet, I guess. Put out a bowl of water, maybe some leftover scraps of–oh Christ did it just fly? Can it do that? Kill it. Jesus, kill it. KILL IT! KILL THE DAMN THING ALREADY!