wThe school year is just starting, and we’re all meeting new people. With these first impressions, it is vital that other people know EXACTLY what you’re studying. The Fed is back with another classic listicle to ensure that you can do so, discreetly.
Throw an apple at them and start calculating the velocity (please calculate with air resistance).
Ask them what their MBTI result is, or if their parents love them.
Just break down crying!
Say you’re pre-med.
As long as you don’t make eye contact, they’ll get the message.
You’re not allowed to talk in the library. / Shush someone in the library.
No need to sweat getting it in there; people will be able to tell by how cool you are.
Ask the other person about their top three favorite directors. No worries if they have more. Who doesn’t!
Ask them why they think killing babies is morally wrong, and then proceed to explain (for five minutes or more) why they’re wrong about it and why we need an entire field of study to justify your answer.
- Environmental science
Explain why your depression is caused by climate change.
5-syllable words only.
No words are necessary; put that hair in a bun and just start spinning!
Ask if they want to see your World War II diorama.
Ask who their favorite artist is. No matter their answer, make them feel judged.
- Physical Education
As long as you’re wearing a tracksuit, you’ll be good.
- Human Rights
Anytime someone is smiling, be sure to remind them about poverty trends in the United States.
Say “uh” between every third word. Or, if you’re in JJ’s, they’ll already know.
- Any language
As long as your voice is laden with the accent, you’ll be good.
- Political Science
Say the phrase, “I hate to be the devil’s advocate.”
Mumble nonsense about nothing and everything all at once (mention Durkheim at least once), then claim it’s science.
- Computer Science
Let’s be real, you aren’t meeting anyone.
See Computer Science.
Mention how much you hate reading the Iliad.