Freshman Jumps Subway Turnstile, Won’t Stop Talking About It

“It’s not a big deal,” Sam Taylor (CC’25) said of jumping the turnstile during his most recent trip on the 1 train. “Well,” he added, “it kind of is. I guess you could call me a rebel.” Sources say Taylor wore a light blue T-shirt and still had on his NSOP bracelet. He was en route to Times Square. 

With the start of a new academic year, subway security has likewise seen an increase in fare evasion at the 116th street entrance. What are they doing about it?

“Nothing,” said the booth attendant who’s always there. You know, the one whose eyes occasionally meet yours when he looks up from his cellphone after the next episode of Outer Banks season 2 won’t play. And you swipe your MetroCard demonstratively because it’s four o’clock in the morning and you want him to know that even though you’ve been out doing god knows what, you’re a law abiding citizen. 

“Am I concerned?” asked the freshman’s roommate. “Very. When I saw him down there the other day, I asked where he was going, and he said, ‘Nowhere.’”

When asked if he holds the subway poles, the freshman declined to comment.