Senior Voted “Life of the Party” Found Dead Outside Party

life of party.jpg

Ben Bennett CC ’18 recently passed away in an East Campus hallway outside the sailing team semi-formal, where guests had proclaimed him the “life of the party.”

Bennett, who an hour earlier had screamed “YOLO” before opening a Natty Light with his head, was discovered lying face-down next to a vomit-encrusted bottle of Voda. 

In interviews with friends, the most frequently used phrases to describe Bennett were “absolute savage” and “the fucking plug,” among others. “He just breathed life into every room he went,” related Ethan Greenberg CC ‘18, who attempted to administer CPR on Bennett after discovering him cold and lifeless on the ground.

According to witnesses, the last words he uttered before chugging his sixth Bud Light and stumbling out the door were, “Imma bout to send it.”

In Other News