Freshman Reading Whole Iliad Like He Has No Bullshitting Skills or Something


TRENTON, NJ – Carefully noting the fine plot points of the 3000-year-old epic poem, Michael Samford CC ’20 contemplated the nuances of a passage in Book 11 of the Iliad this week.  “I’m not sure I’ll remember how all these epic similes characterize Achilles,” the freshman complained, as if he couldn’t just contrive a plausible five-page essay on the topic anyways.  

Samford appears convinced that he will need an actual knowledge of the text to concoct enough intelligent-sounding comments for full participation credit. “I’m trying hard to keep track of all the mythological characters, since I feel like I’ll be at a disadvantage in class discussions if I forget the details,” confided the incoming Columbian.  “And I can’t believe I’ll have to remember all this stuff for the midterm – maybe I’ll have to read through the whole thing again in a few months.”

As of press time, Samford was also under the impression that Frontiers of Science would be a real class.