PULITZER HALL – The Pulitzer Prize Committee announced on Monday that The Federalist earned a Pulitzer Prize for Investigative Reporting. “We are shocked and flattered by this great honor,” said Max Rosenberg CC ’18 and Iqraz Nanji CC ‘18, Feditors-In-Chief, in a joint statement. “After spending so many late nights dredging the fabricated truth out of campus muck and Spectator soundbites, it’s rewarding to see our hard work recognized.”
The Feditors were proud of the profound lack of impact they have had on the Columbia community in the past year. “From Columbia Football’s victory over the University of Phoenix to Columbia’s divestment from the education industry, our coverage has shaped campus culture in a meaningless way. We’re delighted to have made no noticeable negative impact on campus discourse. That, of course, is what makes this paper so unique.”
The paper was also nominated as a finalist in the Pulitzer’s photography category. “They really should have won that one,” said John Linberg CC ’18. “Sure, the New York Times published some heartbreaking images of Syrian refugees. But The Federalist published a beautiful portrait of a man who takes pride in his watermelon selection ability.”
Reports have also surfaced that the Pulitzer may help The Federalist regain the well-chilled campus office that the newspaper used to use for beer storage.