As the housing selection dates approach, the Fed would like to offer its very own reviews of Columbia residences. Previous coverage of housing options has been unsatisfactorily limited in its scope.
Location: Frat row
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Nearby Dorms: Butler 208 and special interest reading rooms
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Stores and Restaurants: ButCaf
Cost:
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Sleep deprivation
Amenities:
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Bathrooms: Avoid the puddle in the third floor men’s room
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Kitchen: Free lightly-used Red Bulls left behind by other students
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Laundry: Unnecessary
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Gym: Walk the stairs
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Wifi: No shit, Sherlock
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Bonuses: Just a hint of body odor, slight flair of anticolonial rhetoric
Room Variety:
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Alcoves, underneath tables, aisle 43 of the 4th floor stacks
Fed Recommendation
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“Where is Butler?”
Resident Opinion
- “Do you have Adderall?”
