Obama Searches For Next Job On LionSHARE

THE WHITE HOUSE – Acknowledging that he would be out of a job within a year, President Barack Obama, CC ’83, admitted that he is currently using Columbia’s LionSHARE jobs database to apply for promising opportunities.  “It’s tough,” the President conceded while sifting through his “Favorite Jobs” tab.  “Tons of other Columbians are sending their resumes out to the same employers as me.  My CV isn’t bad.  But it’s not like I’ve found the cure for cancer.  And I don’t have time to network like a lot of these other folks.” 

President Obama is ramping up his job search over winter break as pressure to find a position mounts.  “I’ve been applying to pretty much every paid public policy job I can find.  With Michelle and I losing the house in a few months, and Sasha and Malia’s college tuition looming, I can’t afford to take an unpaid internship.” 

“I guess I can go back to Chicago and save up some money,” Obama added. “I’m starting to rethink this whole public policy thing anyways.  My friends coming out of the Treasury Department are landing huge salaries.”