April Fools’ Day Moved to April 31

In a shocking bipartisan decision, the United States Congress recently passed a bill moving April Fools’ to day 31 of the month. Despite unclear motivations or need for such a change, the piece of legislation blew through both houses in under four minutes (though some record keepers support a more conservative four minutes and twenty seconds). 

Excited hoots and hollers were reported from the inner chambers when news of the bill’s passing broke. This spurred embraces across the aisle and a sense of camaraderie that has been lost these past few years. One of two dissenting Congresspeople, Senator Feinstein (D-CA), said she already had a good prank planned and didn’t require extra time like other, less spry, members of Congress. President Biden is slated to sign off on the bill Friday morning.  

For the average American, this type of change may be seen as governmental overreach. However, April 1 is now like every other day, so NO PRANKS PLEASE! Save them for April 31 with the rest of the nation.