15 Things to Name Your Borg for Bacchanal

Michigan does it. Bama does it. OSU does it. Even Cornell does it. And now, with Bacchanal coming up, Columbia does it. The Spectador (Dani Winkler) officially endorses “The Borg” as the student drink of choice for Bacchanal 2023. Why pay $25 for a mimosa tower at Amity or sacrifice your reputation to drink underage at 1020 when you could carry around a gallon-size jug of mysterious red or blue liquid for six hours in the hot April sun? Exactly.

“Dani, I want to make a Borg, but I just can’t think of anything funny and school-spirited enough to name it.” Well guess what. I did the dirty work for you. 15 possible Columbia-themed Borg name ideas, handed to you on a silver platter. Even better, I made two of my very good friends sit with me in Chef Don’s for 35 minutes—against their will—to confirm the laughability of said ideas. Thanks, Finley and Thea. So enjoy. As the old Biblical saying goes: “Be fruitful, and multi-Borg.” 

  1. PrezBorg
  2. Borg-ler Library
  3. Millie the Dancing Borg
  4. Borgton Williams 
  5. Diana Burrito Borg
  6. Borg-cchannal
  7. Worst Foot-Borg Team in the Ivy League
  8. Borg Beautiful Barnard
  9. SchermerBorg Extension
  10. Chef Mike Ate My GrandBorg
  11. Blue Borg Coffee/Borg Bottle Coffee 
  12. Reid, Sulz, Hewitt, Borg
  13. BorgCulture
  14. Mel’s Borger Bar 
  15. Columbia University in the City of New Borg