LONDON – Prior to leaving the Prime Minister’s residence at 10 Downing Street, former British leader David Cameron reportedly filched a little bottle of moisturizing shampoo from the private residence’s bathroom. “I’ve had a rubbish week,” Cameron confided, staring forlornly at the 1.3 oz vial of hair care product. “But it’s the little wins like this that count.”
Despite his ebbing hairline, Cameron confessed that the thrill of copping a few cents off the taxpayer never quite wears off. “And you should see the Residence face towel I stuffed in my bag this morning,” the Tory gloated. “What a rush.”
Eyewitnesses claim that Cameron also stopped by the kitchen to swipe several croissants “for the road” before heading out to face a wall of reporters.