Columbia’s Only Newspaper That Stole Your Airpods
Volume XXXIX • Issue 1 • October 2021
From the issue:
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Report: One of These Little Freaks is Next Obama
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REPORT: It Really is That Damn Phone
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“I Literally Can’t Read or Write”: President Armstrong Announces Resignation After AI Detected in Her Email
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Kid Sitting in Front of You in Your Lecture Sucks Ass at Connections
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80% of Barnard Transfers Didn’t Get On-Campus Housing — Here’s Where Some of Them Are Staying!
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Swim Test Moved to Hudson River
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An Ode to My Woozoo
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I Didn’t Have a Brat Summer. I Was Too Busy Having a Job.
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Revenge Era? My roommate used all of my tampons so now I am buying the kind with extra arsenic
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Registrar’s Office Replaces Outdated Registration System with Something More “Merit Based”
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Freshman Advice: Top 3 Hot Spots to do your Zoom Therapy
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Chef Don Tears Up as Someone Swipes In For First Time Since Spring 2024
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How Diet Pepsi by Addison Rae Literally Saved My Life
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Every Meal at Ferris Now Requires a 2 Hour Discussion Section
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Troubling Teen Trend: Freshmen Never Learned How To Fucking Walk
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A Letter to My Absentee Father: Neil Gorsuch CC ‘88
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Oh, the Humanity! New Campus Finance Group so Selective, it has Zero Members
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New Policy Implemented to Honor Former President Shafik: Public Safety Will Be Replaced With The Royal Guard
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Cool New President Armstrong Offers to Buy Beer for Underclassmen
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Group of Naughty Freshmen Sneak into Shower to Compare ACT Scores
