Columbia’s Only Newspaper That Stole Your Airpods

Volume XXXIX • Issue 1 • October 2021

From the issue:

  • The Truth About Fed v. Spec Field Day

  • CULPA Debuts New Feature

  • Columbia Unveils New ‘Vertical Sleeping Units’ for GS Student Housing, Citing Success in Horses

  • Report: Broadway Gate Ambulance Has Caused More Injuries Than It Has Prevented

  • Columbia Student Spends Entire Class Pretending to Understand the Reading, Prays No One Says “Building On That”

  • A Statement from The Spectador Editorial Board: We Were Not at ██████’s ██████

  • Chef Mike’s Sub Shop Closes Indefinitely Following Sanitary Violations

  • Investigation Finds POLIS is Hazing New Members

  • Groundbreaking Study by Columbia Fraternity Presidents Finds That “0% of Fraternities Haze!”

  • Little Gregory Speaks Out In Exclusive Interview: “My Working Conditions Were Inhumane”

  • Ferris Booth Commons To Launch “Mukbang Mondays” Beginning in March

  • Nurses Strike Ends After All Patients Die

  • Introducing CUID Premium

  • Editor of Columbia Political Review Steps Forward When Asked if Anyone Knows CPR

  • Mnookin Announces Bold Plan to Halve Student Population

  • Women’s Basketball is “Shining Light” in Darkness of Our Times, Slays Vastly Inferior and Morally Bankrupt Princeton with 68–43 win

  • Jealous Columbia Administrator Wondering How Everyone Else Got All These Vacation Days

  • Barnard Relocates College Commencement From Radio City Music Hall, Moves to Robertson Field

  • Columbia Swim and Dive Team Welcomes Three New Members

  • Columbia Set to Redistribute Its Largest Assets to Barnard to Ease Deficit