Trump Replaces Medical Team with Trick-or-Treater Dressed as Sexy Nurse
By Zoe Davidson, medical student at University of Phoenix Online
WALTER REED HOSPITAL—Just moments ago, The Federalist learned that President Donald Trump fired his team of White House physicians, citing his frustration with their refusal to deny that he ever had COVID-19. According to sources close to the president, Mr. Trump has decided to hire Lily Benson, a 20-year-old sorority pledge, to replace his medical team.
“Yeah,” a source close to the President said, “the President was watching a program on Fox about how Halloween parties thrown by fraternities and sororities may be contributing to a national rise in COVID-19 cases. They went around to different campuses and interviewed party-goers. Benson, who was dressed as a nurse, really impressed the President with her medical knowledge when she spoke about the dangers of mask-wearing,” the source explained.
Preliminary research has revealed that Benson, a sophomore at Clearwater Beach University, majors in communications. Before being interviewed by Fox, Benson was on her way to Alpha Sig’s “Super (Leg) Spreader” virus-themed party. She does not appear to have a medical license, although to lend legitimacy to her anti-mask statements, she did tell Fox she scored a C+ in Biology 101.
Our sources say that President Trump is looking forward to boasting about never having had COVID as soon as Benson clears him.