At least one graduate in the Class of 2025 can sleep easy, knowing what the future holds after she graduates. Unfortunately for her, the future holds years of meticulous research into a…
A newly released article by The Guardian alleged that tech giant Apple flew 600 tonnes of iPhones to the U.S. from India in an attempt to beat recently imposed import tariffs by…
As part of a yearly tradition, the university has released a demographic poll of the newly-committed class of 2029. Most notably, the survey reported that a whopping 100 percent of incoming students…
Responding to viewer concerns over male-dominant representation in the entertainment industry, the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences, Recording Academy, Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, and American Theatre Wing have…
After 3 years of dedicated, sub-par authorship on The Columbia Federalist, I pondered how I wanted to close out my legacy of (debatable) creative and comedic writing. Then, I got really busy…
To stem what President Rosenbury describes as the “pillaging” of Barnard dining halls by “so-called affiliate” Columbia dining halls, Barnard has enacted a 104% tariff on dining swipes used by Barnard students…
Head: wtf y’all. I don’t even have to explain this one. Sub: Okay…yeah, sure I’m the “sub”…right. Editor: eh-tit-ohr…TIT? I know y’all heard that too!!!! Outlined freaky tasks: I have a team…
If your head line is curved… you’re a progressive person. Certainly more progressive than your roommate, who is about to get rejected by his long-term class crush and enter the manosphere. In…
Columbia University recently voiced their support for Chappell Roan after she faced controversy in the wake of her recent Call Her Daddy interview. The university spokesperson stated that they too believe stars…
Writing that the new program would help ensure “peace in our time,” President Shafik Armstrong Shipman touted the new announcement as a fresh direction for Columbia. Citing recent pressure from the Trump…
